Financial Help for Married Female Entrepreneurs: Dealing With Self-Doubt and Fear
One of the issues that often occur with women entrepreneurs is how to deal with fear and self-doubt around money. I remember a very specific incident many years ago when my husband and I had over $40,000 in credit card debt that we had acquired within a three-year period. I remember thinking, “How on earth are we ever going to get rid of this debt?”
I would take my journal with me and go out into the mountains and I would journal about my fear and concerns for what seemed like hours. After journaling I always felt better. And in spite of my fears and concerns we were able to get rid of our debt within two and ½ years.
So how can you begin to transform your financial situation when in the moment you are filled with fear and doubt?
For starters you want to begin to notice that the way you are interpreting your financial situation, is not necessarily the truth. For example, you may think, “We have so much debt there is no way we are never going to get rid of it!” Or, ” My spouse and I are never going to see eye to eye with money. We are never going to get along.
Perhaps I married the wrong person.” Or, “There’s no way that I’ll ever be able to trust him around money.” Those are just a few of the money stories you might have going on in your head. To begin to shift your current money story, ask yourself, “If someone else were in my exact situation, would they be interpreting my situation the way I am?”
Another person might look at your particular situation and think, “Yes, I have X amount of debt but I am committed to getting rid of it…and fact I AM going to get rid of it. I have no doubt that I’m going to get rid of it and I’m going to do everything within my power to change my financial situation.” Do you see how this is different from the conversation of, “I am always going to have debt and there’s nothing I can do to change it?”
Or, for example, when you are having a money argument with your spouse. Consider that if your spouse were married to someone else. The same behaviors that send you flying off the wall with your spouse would not have the exact same impact on someone else as they do with you.
Maybe another person wouldn’t get angry at your spouse’s comments or behaviors because another person wouldn’t take your spouse’s comments personally. They might think, “Oh, John is just having a bad day and so he’s especially anxious right now. It’s not personal – it’s not about me so I don’t need to get angry or upset,”
I want to inspire you to realize that the way you interpret your financial situation, is not the ultimate be-all-end-all truth, it’s just an interpretation. When we remember that our interpretation isn’t THE TRUTH we can gradually begin to shift our interpretation and create different financial results in our life because we’ll be inspired to take different actions because we’re not mistaking our story to be the truth.